Avoiding Destructive Behavior During a California Divorce

At the Law Office of Joyce Holcomb, our divorce attorney in San Bernardino knows that even when a divorce is amicable, and both spouses respect the fact that it is time to move on, the process is still stressful, exhausting, and confusing.

After one spouse files for divorce, there are many decisions to be made regarding property division, spousal support, and child custody and support requirements when you have children.

These important decisions can lead to disagreements, pressure, and anxiety, simply because you thought you would never be making them. No matter what your relationship is with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, things are going to be strained at some point throughout the divorce process.

Fortunately, you can avoid destructive behavior when you know where to look for it.

The first step in avoiding damaging behavior is to partner with an experienced divorce attorney in San Bernardino, California who can provide the emotional support and legal guidance you need to make informed decisions about your future with confidence.

Our Certified Family Law Specialist has a few other tips to help guide you through the often rocky path of divorce proceedings, so you can come out on top once the paperwork is finalized.

Divorce Tip #1: Communicate with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. 

There are many reasons why one spouse may not want to talk to the other when the divorce papers are filed. One spouse may be too hurt to even consider it. Some do not like confrontation. Others may be too angry.

Whatever your personal relationship becomes after the divorce papers are filed, both spouses must continue to communicate throughout the process.

While emotions may run high at first, especially if you have minor children, you must set a good example for their future.

If it is just you and your spouse, talking will allow you to get through the process easier — and quicker. Isn’t that what everyone wants?

Divorce Tip #2: Do not play the blame game.

Placing blame during divorce proceedings is incredibly natural. After all, it is someone’s fault that this is happening, right?

Few people are prepared to accept responsibility for their own actions, especially if these actions have led to a negative outcome — like divorce.

It is easier to blame the other person, but no good will come from it. Moving forward will allow you to separate negative thoughts from your day-to-day actions, so you can move forward without harming your outlook on life.

Divorce Tip #3: Never use your kids against each other. 

While most parents would never dream of using their kids to hurt, manipulate, or shame the other parent, some people may do so unintentionally.

Do not belittle your ex, or speak badly of them, in front of your children. This is their other parent, and it is best to support their relationship, so they can count on being raised by two encouraging parents who are focused on their futures.

If you are considering divorce, or have been served with divorce papers, contact our San Bernardino County Certified Family Law Specialist at the Law Office of Joyce Holcomb by calling (909) 889-7111 today to discuss your case, so we can walk you through the next steps and provide the resources you need to pursue this important process with positivity.

Testimonials

A year and a half ago, before I hired Ms. Holcomb, my ex and I tried to handle the divorce ourselves using the assistance of one of those “divorce mill” attorneys (Uncontested Divorce). My understanding is that these specific attorneys don’t side wit… Read more

Mildred Flores

When I called the offices of Joyce Holcomb, I was in a position were I felt as though I was at the end of my rope. My case had been going for over 2 years. I had an attorney previously and she had failed to move my case forward. It seemed to me that… Read more

Stephen P. Taylor
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