How Can I Prepare My Children for the Divorce?
Divorce can be stressful and disturbing for all involved, especially children, and the question on every parent’s mind is, “How can I prepare my children for the divorce?” Parents in an upcoming divorce would want to share the news in a painless, less frightening way with their kids, and it can be a daunting task. As a parent, your children are a top priority; therefore, you need to be honest with and support them in adjusting to the new family structure. This article discusses helpful tips and strategies for preparing your children for divorce and how to help them cope with this difficult time.
Have a Conversation Before the Divorce Happens
Designate a quiet day where you can have an open and honest conversation with your children before the divorce happens. This allows your children to have time to process the news and become more emotionally prepared for the divorce and the incoming changes. Having a conversation about the upcoming divorce will also help your children gradually adjust to the new family structure, minimizing rapid disruptions in their lives.
Reassure the Children That it is Not Their Fault
Breaking the news to your children may have them wondering if their recent behavior could have been the catalyst for the divorce. Reassure them that the decision to divorce is not their fault and that the issues leading to the divorce are not related to them or their behavior. You can do this by having age-appropriate conversations with them.
Affirm Same Care, Love, and Value as Before
The divorce will most definitely leave the kids wondering if they will receive the same love and care and feel valued by both parents. You must emphasize that both parents will be actively involved in their lives and that your love and support for them will not change due to the divorce.
Validate Your Children’s Feelings
It can also be helpful to validate their feelings and let them know that it is normal to feel sad, angry, or confused about the situation. The divorce may shock your children, and you need to encourage them to express their feelings, however awful, and provide a safe and supportive environment for them to do so.
Be Mindful of Your Non-verbal Communication
As the wise saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Children are very observant and can learn bits of information from your conduct. Your actions and reactions will tell the children how you feel about the other parent, and it is imperative to be mindful of your actions and reactions. For instance, if the other parent calls you and you scoff, yet your child sees who called, that will have communicated your dislike of their mom or dad, and they may harbor harsh feelings for either of you. Therefore, be in control and mindful of your non-verbal communication.
Avoid Blaming and Criticizing the Other Parent in Front of Your Children
Blaming the other parent in front of your children may bring confusion and guilt to your children, who may feel as if they are responsible for the breakdown in your relationship. Secondly, constant blame and criticism in front of the children may damage the child-parent relationship making it difficult for them to maintain a healthy bond. Additionally, your children may find it challenging to have healthy relationships in the future, having developed trust issues just by observing the blame game between their parents. Children may find it harder to come to terms with the divorce if exposed to hurtful and blaming comments from one parent towards the other. Your children’s well-being should be your top priority, and avoiding blaming and criticizing each other is essential.
Seek a Therapist or Counselor
Finally, it can be beneficial to have a therapist or counselor offer additional support, guide your children as they cope with the changes they are going through, and help them healthily process their feelings.
Contact Our Skilled San Bernardino Divorce Attorney Today
The process of divorce can be challenging for everyone involved, especially children. If you are considering divorce, contact our skilled San Bernardino divorce attorney at the Law Office of Joyce Holcomb by calling (909) 889-7111 today. We will help you navigate the legal process and protect your rights and interests through this challenging time.